Apologies to Mideast comrades

Dear Comrades of the Middle East:

My apologies, but you need not worry about me. Let’s focus on this moment in crisis to see if we can solve something for the Mideast.

I have international support and some domestic support as well.

There is nothing we can do here about my situation. As CBS News recently pointed out, it is still legal to conduct discrimination in the shadows. The Supreme Court approved it. If I were so much as a faculty member in an English department, I would be part of the ole’ boys’ network too.

Any time my career comes up, there is much hand-wringing over here generating 20 articles I cannot keep up with, so let us focus on the substance of ending colonialism. Maybe we can do that.

The rulers come up with post-hoc excuses the way I eat potato chips or Starbursts out of a bag. They can fudge timing, say I brought things on myself and invent stories with abandon. I know that you know why all these stories arose after the fact.

We’ve got scandals within scandals over here, but Americans are supposed to know about getting rid of the mother country. Let’s make use of that.

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