A day in the life of Medplan Inc.

Two youth outreach facilitators return to the office from the field.

Joe Finder: My brochures at Hooters increased our male youth enrollments 3%!

Jill Recruitem: My connections from self-esteem class are a gold mine! Cards we distributed at the state university class “Advanced Relativism and Identity Politics” returned 4% growth in female youth enrollments!

Vice-President of Marketing: Splendid!

Medplan Research Analyst: Most of the uninsured are well-paid and younger people.

Medplan CEO: How did your days go?

Vice-President of Planning and Vice-President of Quality together: Oh our work on the communist revolution looks unlikely to bear fruit soon.

Medplan CEO: OK, that’s what we thought, but I have a plan!

Staff: Yes?

Medplan CEO: It’s a new idea called corporatism. We will make a contribution to the National Socialist Party and they will implement a program whereby the government requires everyone to join a health plan, thereby boosting our profits.

Staff: You mean no more self-esteem classes and Hooters?

Medplan CEO: That’s right. You won’t have to tailor your marketing anymore. All the youth will be joined into the YDSA. Then the fuhrer will abolish the parties in a bipartisan board.

Staff: You mean there will be one big healthcare organism?

Medplan CEO: Yes.

Staff: And our shareholders will still make profits?

Medplan CEO: Bigger than ever, isn’t that great!

Vice-President of Planning: And we don’t have to organize a communist revolution?

Medplan CEO: Right you are. We will have all the motivations of private property and all the state tools of a military dictatorship.

Staff: We can’t lose! We can’t wait to read the fascist program and regular updates.

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