A stalking victim’s sad tale

Our tale starts in class.

Stalking victim: Never go into denial about the problem. Experienced stalkers can carry out some pretty amazing stunts with great determination.

Class: Like what?

Stalking victim: There was the time my stalker was past dating me and his next victim and looking for a third, when he showed how it is possible to stalk two people at once.

Class: How did he do that?

Stalking victim: I still haven’t figured out how the monster managed that, but I was walking from central campus to the weight-lifting room for the workout I do every five years, and he knew my plan. He must have been stalking me before we started dating, when I last did my weight-lifting five years prior. At the same time, he stalked his more recent girlfriend from another part of campus to the same gym room.

Class: What did you do? Did you call the building security? The police?

Stalking victim: No, both victims were frozen in horror. It just goes to show there is no place that is safe for wimmin, not even the weight-lifting room.

Class: So you finished your workouts?

Stalking victim: Yes, wimmin should never let stalkers alter their lives. We must be brave.

Class: How would you recommend that we defeat the stalkers so we can go lift weights every five years?

Stalking victim: When you move, give him your phone number and tell him to call you. Then, when he calls, tell everyone your number was unlisted and that he was such a powerful controller he must have intimidated the phone company. That was my best tactic, but determined stalkers will continue after that.

Class: Oooh. Do you have any other advice for empowering wimmin?

Stalking victim: Yes, don’t forget persynal attacks, because they can get you elected president.

Class: How do we do that?

Stalking victim: Easy, never argue a point of substance, only style and biography. Try to write two autobiographies before running for office.

Class: Are there any books to read on this?

Stalking victim: Don’t worry, the curriculum here is set up. The new trend of post-modernism is very empowering.

It’s always useful to try to imagine what is going through the minds of lynchmob people. The above is a day or two in the life of my lyncher #1.

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